Despite our best efforts, challenging behavior is going to happen. When it does, there are some “rules of engagement” to keep in mind as you work through the situation.
- Stay calm & cool (Thinking brain)
- Choose/use words wisely Remember, a child who is moving into a primal (stress response) brain is losing access to the thinking brain. We need to use fewer words and speak more slowly.
- Be flexible in finding solutions when possible (Choices and compromises)4. Think instructive, coach, mentor
- “Flip your lid” Avoid primal (stress response) brain
- Lecture or get sucked into arguments
- Become rigid “my way or the highway”
- Think punishment and consequencesPunishment and consequences are the least effective in changing behavior long-term. Teaching the right way (YES, EACH and EVERY TIME – remember it takes many repetitions to hardwire connections in the brain) will help the child replace the wrong behavior because they are actually learning the right behavior.