Rules of Engagement for Challenging Behavior

Joetta Schork is a TBRI® (Trust Based Relational Intervention®) Practitioner. She serves Hope Academy as a trauma behavior consultant having 10 years experience working with families of children who struggle with behavior regulation. Joetta will be sharing frequent TBRI tips for working with the children at home. Rules of Engagement for Challenging BehaviorDespite our best efforts, challenging behavior is going to happen. When it does, there are some “rules of engagement” to keep in mind as you work through the situation.DO: 1. Stay calm & cool (Thinking brain) 2. Choose/use words wisely Remember, a child who is moving into a primal (stress response) brain is losing access to the thinking brain. We need to use fewer words and speak more slowly.3. Be flexible in finding solutions when possible (Choices and compromises)4. Think instructive, coach, mentorDON’T:1. “Flip your lid” Avoid primal (stress response) brain2. Lecture or get sucked into arguments3. Become rigid “my way or the highway”4. Think punishment and consequencesPunishment and consequences are the least effective in changing behavior long-term. Teaching the right way (YES, EACH and EVERY TIME – remember it takes many repetitions to hardwire connections in the brain) will help the child replace the wrong behavior because they are actually learning the right behavior.