Stress Response

Joetta Schork is a TBRI® (Trust Based Relational Intervention®) Practitioner. She serves Hope Academy as a trauma behavior consultant having 10 years experience working with families of children who struggle with behavior regulation. Joetta will be sharing frequent TBRI tips for working with the children at home.

Stress Response
When a child experiences trauma, their brain will automatically set itself to high alert status. No longer is there a need for a real life/death situation in order for the primal brain stress response system to be activated. Subconsciously, this brain is ALWAYS scanning for “threat”, and because the stress response system is hyper-vigilant, it can find “threat” in even the most innocent of situations.
Some of the non-life/death triggers include:

– Hungry, tired, sick, anxious, overwhelmed, scared, insecure
– Singled out, called on, put on the spot, cornered, questioned
– Made uncomfortable, embarrassed
– Asked to do something the child is not confident doing, or doesn’t know how to do
– Denied something the child really wants and/or thinks they need (when and how they THINK it should happen)
– When the child doesn’t know or understand what’s happening, (unexpected, unplanned or changed events)
– Not having a voice, not being heard, not being allowed to explain or tell their side of the story, not having choices, not being allowed preferences
– Not being responded to quickly, compassionately, and appropriately
– Sensory overloaded, chaotic, busy, loud, overwhelming situations
– ANY real or perceived threat to the child’s sense of well being, their sense of happiness, their sense of safety, or their sense of autonomy.

That’s a LOT of opportunities for the subconscious (primal) brain to send the child hurling into fight, flight, and/or freeze behaviors. As the adult in charge, it is important to remember, this is not a conscious choice. While many of these behaviors may be what we would consider “learned behavior” we must remember the primal brain is using these behaviors for a reason.

Re-framing our thoughts on inappropriate behavior helps us respond with a more compassionate approach. Behavior is a clue. It is ALWAYS A CLUE to what the brain and/or body needs that the child cannot otherwise articulate. While wrong behavior must be stopped immediately, it is a symptom of a deeper problem. For behavior change that lasts, we must solve the clue, and fix the root.